Dark Star part 29

Story writing

to get a better idea of  how Dark Star pans-out i had a go at writing a "story script" this is by no means a final version but it got me thinking about character motivations and directions.

1^st story draft

Character introductions, Ash Darcy and Gideon going about there days like any other, working dead end jobs as a courier (shifter) (Ash) a mechanic (metalhead) Darcy and a policeman “in training” (enforcer) (Gideon), throughout there day they all come across the same mysterious figure, but each time they seem to have a different personality:

Ash delivers a package to the door of a seemingly abandoned building

M: Opens package plastered with Helmscroft research “ug this isn’t a piece of the dark star”

A: “well it’s not my job to ensure what’s in the packages is the right thing mister, also what the hell are you on about”

M: “well” (sarcastically) “since you asked so nicely, AND promise not to tell anyone…”

[Ash Back Tracks the place of delivery to the research facility]

Darcy receives a strange device for repair

M: “we need this by tomorrow, this will be used to find the dark star just to give you an idea of the urgency”

D: Clearly peeking his curiosity but trying to play it cool “wa (chough) what is that?”

M: “oh, you haven’t heard”

[Darcy delivers the device to the facility, then his curiosity gets the better of him]

Gideon chases a criminal only to be separated by a fence down a ally way with no door

M: out of breath “if it’s any consolation I don’t have the book, its still in the research facility”

G: “Book? I’m trying to return (sees a large amount of stolen goods at his feet)” “how did you?”

M: running away “it’s all in the book my friend”

G: Shouting “… I aint your friend!”

[Gideon finds a security card amongst the goods, his hunger for more power compels him to find out what the book is]

All of the protagonists make their way into the facility one way or another, lurking the halls until they all come across a room different from all others, upon entering they all recognise each other from school, they discover that they all were told of the dark star/book and where to find it by a early similar man, they now believe they were being manipulated and decide to stick together, for the time being.

After looking around for any hints at what’s going on they find:

•        files of the hunter’s creation and that its coming after protags

•         a bolo crest is found at the site of the crime

•        a mocking note from the borrowers, something like “just borrowing”

•         the protags over hear a conversation “it’s being taken to --- as we speak”

[either way they head to bolo]

On there way to bolo they pass through the unclaimed land between porfill, helmcroft and duneford during, they find a group of duneford escapees making their way to sulfshaw, the group has loss many of its numbers, and the rest are injured, they explain the event that befell them, a group of bolo borrowers caring a strange book crossed their path,

BB: “you know we should test if this is the right book before getting to Duneford, the buyers aren’t ones for…understudying mistakes” (proceeds to make a mistake)

Upon writing into the book the borrowers were struck with some unknown force, mutating them into the monsters they were trying to create